Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
*
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
*
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
*
Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie...
*
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
*
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this
stuff before?
*
There go the lights again...
*
Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this
guy's got two of 'em.
*
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
*
Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing
my concentration off.
*
What's this doing here?
*
I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
*
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
*
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
*
Sterile, shcmerle. The floor's clean, right?
*
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a
freak of nature.
*
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
*
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
*
What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!
*
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
*
Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
*
Isn't this the one with the really lousy insurance?
There are names of 16 books of the Bible mentioned in the paragraph below.
See how many you can find. (A preacher found 15 books in 20 minutes, but it
took him three weeks to find the 16th one.) Good "luck" !
"I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu;
kept people looking so hard for facts, and for others, it was a revelation.
Some were in a jam, especially since the name of the books were
not capitalized. But the truth finally struck home to numbers of our
readers. To others it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating
few moments for you. Yes, there will be some really easy ones to spot.
Others may require judges to help find them. I will quickly admit it
usually takes a minister to find one of them, and there
will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little lady says she brews a
cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete.
Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books of the Bible in this
paragraph."
If you give up scroll down.
When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten students got the
answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.
What is greater than God,
More evil than the devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it, you'll die?
What is it?
.
.
.
.
Give up???? Scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer: Nothing!
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly
jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic
act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news, he said, "Mary, I have
good news and bad news. The good news is you're being
discharged because - since you were able to jump in and
save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your
senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry"
There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.
The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."
The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.
The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again.
An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.
Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will save him." So the boat left him again.
Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me?"
God replied, "What are you talking about, I sent three boats after you!!"
A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.
"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for the lesson, I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."
The following week at the beginning of the class, the teacher said, "Now all who have prepared for today’s lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please come to the front." Half the class stood up and came forward.
"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk speak to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark!"